5 Lessons Learnt From Over a Decade of Writing
I have been preparing a post for my Instagram account that reflects on all the books I’ve written over the years. It got me thinking about what each of those books (and the books I never finished) has taught me. So here are my top lessons learnt from well over a decade of writing.
Lesson 1: Write for yourself first
This is the most important piece of advice I could ever give to another writer. In this age of social media where we see the constant successes of others, it’s easy to feel pressured to write a certain way or aim for certain goals. The best thing you can do is write for yourself. Write because you want to. Write because you feel inspired. Because it brings you joy. Publish or don’t publish because that’s what you want. Write the genres you like. Do all of it for yourself first.
Once you start writing for your readers or for potential publishers or for popular trends, your writing is no longer about your connection to the art. Your writing is now something commercial. Your writing is a product.
Always try to keep yourself at the forefront of what you create, because stories written for your own enjoyment will mean so much more to you.
Lesson 2: Know how you work best
Over the years as a writer and an editor, I’ve come across many pieces of writing advice. “You need to plot your stories”, “don’t edit as you go”, “you need to have a daily writing routine”. The list goes on.
Ignore them.
No one knows how you should write your book except for you. Every piece of “advice” or every “rule” out there is really a suggestion. I suggest to most writers not to edit as they go because doing so could get them caught in a cycle of self-doubt and perfectionism that means they never progress in the story. However, I know plenty of writers who swear by this strategy and who make it work.
I’ll be honest with you, I do very little plotting, I sometimes edit as I go, and I don’t have a writing routine. I break all these “rules” because it’s what works best for me. Do what you need to do to support your creativity and produce your best work.
Lesson 3: Trust your gut
As the author, no one knows your story like you do. Whether you’re a first-time writer or seasoned storyteller, you’ll know when something isn’t right. Maybe getting through the murky middle feels harder than usual. Maybe you’re not feeling inspired. Maybe self-doubt is growing. Whatever it is, listen to yourself and trust your gut.
In the past, I’ve tried to force my way through writing a book even when I knew it wasn’t working and something wasn’t right. This was never a helpful approach because I wasn’t enjoying writing and I felt demoralised. Now, I trust my gut. When I know something isn’t working, I take a step back and I examine it. Or I take a break from the book altogether if I know it’s an issue I can’t resolve just yet.
Lesson 4: Take feedback with a pinch of salt
Receiving harsh or negative feedback is a blow. I’ve experienced it several times before and it’s never pleasant. So here’s how I deal with it:
Get some distance and vent. Initially, I’ll need to vent. Usually this means voice noting my writing bestie and spilling the tea. This helps me release the frustration and decompress.
Take a step back and be objective. It can be difficult not to take feedback personally or be frustrated that things haven’t been understood. But your editor, critique partner, friend, reviewer — whoever read your work — is coming at it from a very specific angle. They have their own perspective, understanding, and preferences that will influence their impressions of your work. Sometimes their feedback can be disregarded if you know they’ve misunderstood. Sometimes an alternative perspective is needed. Try to see the value in their interpretation.
Lesson 5: Believe in yourself but be realistic
This is a hard lesson to learn. Obviously we want to believe that we’ll publish and find success and be on the bestseller lists. While I wholeheartedly support dreaming big, it’s also important to stay grounded.
Here’s the thing, no one deserves to be published. No one has a right to success. We just don’t. Because how can we even define what success is or what makes someone deserving?
Traditional publishing is a lottery and indie publishing is a game. It’s all business, and the odds are not in your favour. It sucks, I know. It’s frustrating, definitely. So here’s what you do…
Accept that the publishing landscape is something you have little to no control over and that luck plays a huge role. And remember Lesson 1 — write for yourself. If you never got published, would you still write books? For me, absolutely. Writing brings me joy because I do it for myself. Yes, I’d love to get published, but I’ll just keep writing until I write the book that gets me there. If you’re writing only to get published, is that bringing you joy? Are you basing all your success and enjoyment on landing a publishing deal?
By putting publishing or bestseller lists or sales on a pedestal, you’re giving it the power to impact your happiness and creativity. You have power over what makes you happy and what you enjoy. Don’t let it be dictated by something outside your control.
At the end of the day, publishing is an ever changing landscape and writing is an artform like any other. Art gets misunderstood. People don’t give you chances you think you’ve earned. Trying to keep a realistic perspective and stay connected to your art is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Let me know in the comments if these lessons and insights were helpful! What else would you add to the list?